Friday, August 29, 2008


I had the same nightmare again.

It's the nightmare I can't wake up to. Can't breathe, can't call for help, desperately trying to find a voice or tiny squeal so that the person round the corner can know that i'm in distress. I know i'm dreaming, but I just can't wake up.. that is what's so scary. I consciously try to force my eyes open, but my lids drop down like iron fortress gates, disallowing me to exit. Sounds familiar? I know i'm not the only one, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Coz I am still alone in my dream.

Sometimes, i think that i'm going to die in my sleep. And i am not at all exaggerating. If you have seen Nightmare of the Elm street - Freddy the nightmare, he said something like, "If you die in your dreams, you die for real." And time after time, i felt like i've had a narrow escape each time I managed to force myself to wake up from a vicious dream like this. It's too real. I felt the short of air and the unexplainable body ache after the escape, and the body being pinned down like I was on the sacrifice table. I felt like I've been trapped in a zone that I know is not real, yet I can't get out of it. And each time I did, someone in the dream would demonically whisper into my ear, "Till then..."

I had never undermined the mystic powers of dreaming. It has discreet meanings, usually trying to tell you something. It is akin a mini stage performance - the story line gathers itself from the disarrangement within your deranged little mind. Like it is joining the dots for you. It gives you a mental play back to your current state of mind, to a forecast of what you should be wary about, all in its utmost attempt to make you understand, what you don't. 

They come in varied symbols, significantly noticeable or not, they often mean something.  Try interpreting your dream next time, and link up the dots to see if they all make sense to your current state of mind and reality. You might be surprised. Go to Dream moods to retrieve a quick interpretation when you search within it's dream-dictionary, whenever you wake up with a distinctive subject from your dream the night before. Map and connect the symbols on your own - you might realized that you will be drawing more parallel relevances than you think you would.

Let's talk about "natural death". How else do you explain cases of people who just died mysteriously in their sleep? When they are mostly well and healthy with no clues and signs that their time was up? Science can give all sorts of explaination (to keep us sane and calm), but I somehow  believe that it was their dreams who took them away.

If you are sniggering at this point, you know what? To hell with you. It's fucking real. I just know it. And as much as I love dreaming, I am so fucking afraid of them. I am not trying to play gypsy here, just conveying my fear. And to keep me sane, I tend to study them.

It's not a dream. It's another dimension. 

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