.superuseless me please.

A new era of heroes. 

Better than the real thing.

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Laser Pointer Vision*

Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews. 

And this gotta be my favourite.

SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Achieving 99% opacity, a.k.a. The Slightly Invisible Man.

This throwaway power lets you vanish into thin air as long as that thin air is obscured by enough thick air to cover up the other 99% of your completely visible body. Sorry, no dice on landing that plum invisibility role in the sequel to Ghost Dad either.

For more. Go superuseless yourself here.

*Courtesy of Tomas